Many of us Muslims grew up in a culture that is based on our religion’s pillars and rules. So, in Islam we follow a lot of the things that our Prophet, PBUH, did, such as saying “Bism Allah” (In God’s name) before starting a meal. I remember sitting at the dining table with my parents when I was younger; after they plated my food, they reminded me to say “Bism Allah.” Being my-not-thinking-before-I-act self, I chose to act out and break the norm and said, “mish Bism Allah” (not in God’s name). I obviously had no idea what I was saying. After that, I automatically got a negative sanction from both my parents, which is a negative reaction in sociology. Looking back at that memory now I understand exactly why my parents did that. Now, I actually understand what I said and why my parents asked me to say “Bism Allah.” It’s not something we just said for social reasons; it had religious meaning as well.
Here’s the thing, there is “haram” and there is “a’ib.” “Haram” basically means forbidden upon in Islam. “A’ib” means shameful in our culture. Sometimes it’s hard to distinguish between the two. An example of something that could be considered “a’ib” and not “haram” is being deviant by getting a crazy hair cut and dying your hair bright pink. If you go out to visit family friends or even just family it could be “a’ib” to walk in with a crazy hair-do and you will probably get a lot of negative sanctions. But in Islam, it is not “haram” to look like that. However, many culturally restrictive things are also forbidden in Islam, like one’s choice of wear. A woman is supposed to be dressed appropriately in public in Islam and in this culture.
The same goes to girls and guys mingling; it could be considered “a’ib” and “haram” at times. Girls and guys hanging out isn’t something that we see in public all the time, aside from in universities in Education City and at parties. It wouldn’t be so hard to find someone, at least one person, staring at you from the corner of his or her eye when you’re alone with the opposite gender, especially if you’re younger in age.
